I Fall Every Time
by Sakura's Shadows
Summary: When you get your heart broken the best remedy is chocolate ice cream and old sitcom reruns. At least, that's what Kaoru Kamiya thinks. Kxk.
1. Broken Hearts

**I Fall Every Time****Chapter 1****By****: Sakura's Shadows**

**Disclaimers-I don't own Rurouni Kenshin.**

**I had intended to post this on New Year's, but I rewrote it... I hope you guys like it because I love it!**

Once again it's New Years Eve. All my friends are all at a party, having fun, and I'm here in my apartment all alone with my tub of ice cream and television. Of course they had invited me to come. They said it would be fun. I turned that offer down because I was still hurt from what happened. I just wanted to be alone this New Years Eve. All I wanted to do was just sort out my thoughts and cry...

How is it that you can love someone so much? You give them your everything and they give nothing. You trust them with your heart and they break it. Why is love so cruel?

Enishi I poured out my heart to you... Everything was perfect. It was a fairy tale. At least it was until you started staying out later and then broke me. You told me all that you had been doing. You packed your things kissed me on the forehead and left me there, a torn person. I couldn't stop crying. I still can't. I loved you with my everything, and you didn't return those feelings...

My cell phone rang, making me drop my spoon that was half way in my mouth. I was dripping with chocolate ice cream. I picked up my cell phone and saw that it was just Misao.

"Yeah?" I answered.

"Kaoru? You sound different? You okay?" Misao inquired. I heard the party in the background. She must have been having a great time.

"I'm fine, great actually," I mumbled while I was trying to swallow the last bit of ice cream.

Misao sighed, "Let me guess you're pigging out on ice cream and watching old reruns on TV?"

"You got me..." I murmured. I looked down at my sleeping shirt cursing myself for being so clumsy with the ice cream. Now I was going to have to wash this thing right away...

"Why don't you come down here and be with us?" she paused," There sure are some really... cute guys."

I rolled my eyes. Typical of Misao to just be looking at all the guys. I grinned.

"Come on. I bet you it'll make you feel all better from you-know-who." Misao pleaded.

"I'd rather stay home." I replied.

"Sano is here." She said, sighing.

That was all that she had to say. It cheered up right away. Sanosuke Sagara was like my brother. We teased each other a lot. To most people, we would seem like the worst of enemies, but we're the exact opposite. He helped me through every hardship I've ever had, like when my mom dyed in the car accident a few years back. Sano was with me through everything. He even let me stay at his place until I could find my own.

"So?" I heard Misao ask impatiently.

"Let me get dressed." I replied and hung up the phone. I glanced at the clock. It was two hours until the near came along with the chance to start anew. I closed my eyes and sighed. Maybe this year I'll find Mr. Right. I went into my bedroom and threw off my sleeping shirt and walked to my closet. I grabbed the first thing I saw, which was a simple black dress that went to my knees. I slipped it on. Then, I just remembered I still had ice cream all over me. I ran to the bathroom and cleaned my face. I didn't bother with any make-up. I really had no incentive to look pretty for anyone, so I tied my hair back after brushing it. Then I was off.

Pulling the door shut as I walked out, I could hear my phone ringing again. I fumbled in my purse and realized it was still inside the house along with my keys! It was too late... The door shut. I was locked out because of my stupid messed up head.

"Just great." I grumbled. I walked away, still digging in my purse for money for a cab. I walked down the hallway, not paying attention to anything around me. My heels were to high for me, so I stumbled in them as I walked to the elevator at the end of the hall. Eventually, I fell hard onto the wood floor. I was flabbergasted for a moment, trying to figure out what just happened. I kept hearing a voice. It was a man's voice, but it was delicate.

"Hey are you alright?" The voice asked.

"Um," was my response. The clouds in my head cleared, and I realized I was sitting on the floor with the contents of my purse scattered around me. I heard a soft chuckle. I looked in front of me. All I saw was a pair of worn sneakers. Farther up, I saw jeans. Even farther, I saw a hand reached out to me.

"Let me help you up," The voice said again. I took the man's hand, and he lifted me up with ease. I didn't let go of his hand; it was warm. I liked it. He bent down and handed me my purse. I knelt and we both started picking up the items. Then we both must have went the same item because our hands bumped into each other. We both looked up at the same time. I blinked and he just smiled at me, obviously holding back a chuckle. I blushed and stood up. He handed me the tube of lip gloss that we had reached for.

"Thanks," I muttered as I stuffed it into my bag.

"No problem," he replied.

I looked at him and I was drawn immediately to his red hair. I liked it. Oh, and his eyes, they were violet, so exotic. Then I wondered if he was taken or...you know. All the good ones usually are.

He turned to walk away.

Thirty minutes later I had finally made it to the party. My cab got stuck in a traffic jam, so I walked the rest of the way. As I was walking, it started pouring rain, which soaked me to the bone. It stopped right as I was walking into the building of the party. What great timing! As soon as I walked in, someone grabbed me by the arm.

"What the?" I looked at the person who grabbed me. It was Misao. She blinked a few times, puzzled.

"What happened to you?" She asked, inspecting me. I pulled my dress from her hand.

"Don't ask." I replied. She just shrugged. We went inside to where the party was. There was quite a few people on the dance floor. Some were howling like the drunken idiots they were. Others were sitting by the bar or just chatting at the tables.

"See what you were missing out on?" Misao said. Behind her came a really tall man with black hair and baby blue eyes.

"Who's that?" I asked pointing to the man behind her. She looked behind her and then back at me.

"Oh, that's just Aoshi. I met him while Sano and I were dancing!" She yelled over the music.

We moved through all the people to where the tables were. Once we sat down I caught my breath.

"So where's Sano?" I asked.

Misao looked at me, "What?" she yelled.

The music was too loud, so I practically had to scream at her for her to understand me.

"Oh he's some where around here. Go look for him," She said. Aoshi poked her on her shoulder and whispered something in her ear. She pointed to the dance floor, and I nodded. Aoshi wanted her to dance with him. They went. I watched as they got lost in the sea of people. I gazed around the dance floor, looking for Sano. Finally I spotted him making a not so sly move on a girl and getting slapped for it. He happened to look at me and waved me to come over to his area. I nodded, getting up. I finally got to where he was at.

"Hey!" I said to him.

"Hey there Missy," he looked at me, "Why are you so wet?"

"I got stuck in rain on my way here," I replied.

He nodded and grabbed me. He took me to get a towel in a back room, away form all the people. I was relieved to get away; I never really liked crowds like that. I could still hear the music thumping, but it wasn't as loud in the tiny room. At least I could talk in a normal voice.

"I can't believe you came," He said as he gave me a towel.

"I can't believe I did either. I had a time getting here," I sighed. I took the towel and dried off a bit.

"What happened?" He asked.

"Well I locked myself out of my apartment, got stuck in a traffic jam, fell, and got soaked in rain," I explained.

"Sounds like you had fun," He said sarcastically.

"Loads," I said sarcastically, hitting him with the towel.

We both laughed a bit.

"So there's this guy I want you to meet--" He started saying.

"I knew it. You guys only wanted me to come here for some guy you found roaming around the bar," I buried my face in the towel and screamed from frustration. I thought this was such a waste of time. Besides, I didn't want to meet some random guy that Misao found roaming around. That's how we found Enishi, and I don't want to go through that same drama all over again.

"He not just 'some guy'. He's one of my good friends. Trust me; he's a nice guy," Sano explained, patting me on the back.

I shook my head, "I think I'm just going to go home," I said.

Sano looked at me, "Come on, just meet and exchange names. You can at least do that can't you?"

I thought for a second, scratching my head a bit to just bug Sano. Then he put his hands together, "Please."

"I don't want to. I'm going to go," I said and threw the towel on the floor.

"Why?" He inquired.

"Because," I replied. He sighed annoyed at my stubbornness.

"Because I'm just not ready," I yelled, frustrated with him. Sano leaned against the wall, crossing his arms.

"Kaoru, it's been a month," He said.

"Well you may be able to spring back from a serious relationship, but I can't. So stop bugging me about it!" I argued.

He looked at me. He was a little shocked at my outburst. I never usually yelled at him like that. Right now, I just wanted to be left alone. I mean, anyone knows that after being in a serious relationship it takes time to recover from the heartbreak. Sano just doesn't get it!

"I'm leaving," I said to him.

He nodded his head, "Okay. See you later." I was surprised he let me go so easily.

As I walked back out to the bar, I saw Misao in the darkest corner with her new 'friend'. The music was going and so was everyone else. The lights flashed and the music boomed in my ears. This was not a place I wanted to be, so I walked out as fast as I could. I'd taken off me heels so it would be easier for me to walk. I really didn't care for getting my feet dirty. Like I said, I wasn't trying to look special for anyone.

I walked out to the front of the building. There was a secluded spot behind a concrete wall where I could just sit. I headed there. My feet were starting to get a bit cold from the cold water on the ground. A slight wind blew, which made me even colder. I just knew I was going to get sick...

Later I had returned home, thanks to some gracious taxi driver that took me home for free. He probably just felt sorry for me. I sighed and fumbled in my purse for my keys. Then I just remembered that I had locked myself out.

"Crap," I mumbled, plopping myself onto the floor.

"You locked out again Kamiya."

My eyes widened, "What are you doing here?"

I had asked it bitterly. He just laughed and crouched down so he could be at eye level with me. I saw those eyes I had once loved so much and the white hair. His trademark glasses were absent from his face. I had broken them in the last fight we had got in. He never hit me back, but still he hated me for it. I smirked, "Have you just come here to laugh at me?"

He smirked as well, "Nope. I just want back my ring."

"Well I can't get in. I don't have a key, so I guess you're out of luck."

He sighed and reached in his pocket and pulled out a small key. "Well here you go."

I stared at it for moment, disgusted. Why did he still have that? I snatched from his hand and unlocked the door.

"Stay here," I told him. He nodded his head. I went to my room and looked on my dresser where my jewelry box was. I opened it and there was that stupid ring. Taking it out, I looked at with a slight smile. He had given it to me when we first started dating. It was a Promise Ring. My smile had turned bitter then. He had broken that promise many times. I couldn't believe I forgave him. I don't even know why I'm still in love with him. I couldn't help it. But the love I have for him now isn't pure; it's bitter and tainted.

I walked back to him and put the ring in his hand. "That's the last I'll being seeing of you, I hope." I said to him.

"Why are you so bitter Kaoru?" He said, grinning.

"Just leave." I said, closing my door.

"Jerk," I whispered.

The next day I woke up with a really bad headache. My stomach hurt and my head felt as hot as the sun. I grabbed my thermometer out of the drawer by my couch in the living room and took my temperature. It was up to 102 degrees. My body was shivering from being so cold, but my head felt like it would burn to ashes.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Now who is it," I muttered. Walking to the door with a big wool blanket over my shoulders, I answered it.

"Yeah?" I said groggily, rubbing my eyes.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but... Are you okay?" A man asked.

I looked up it was the man I had saw the other last night. He was the one that helped me with my purse.

"Hey you're that one guy that picked my stuff last night, "I said.

"Oh, I remember you. You fell..." Before he could finish I had fallen again. I was too dizzy to stand. The man leaned over a bit and I saw a blurred image of his face and that red mane of hair.

"Hey, you're kind of cute," I said. I suddenly realized what I had said. It must have been the fever talking. The man just laughed, and I felt myself being pulled up into the air.


	2. What a Happy Day!

**Chapter Two****By-Sakura's Shadows **

**Disclaimer- I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or McDonalds!**

**Note: I really enjoyed writing this. I hope it all flows well and everything. I'm really happy for the turn out and I hope it'll keep going just as good! Keep reviewing and I'll try to update as regularly as I can****:D**

I awoke the next morning with a cold washcloth on my head. Last night was kind of foggy.

"Shoot," I muttered, shrugging the blanket off me, "I wanted to see the ball drop."

I rubbed my eyes a bit, yawning. Then I tensed up when I heard someone rummaging in the kitchen. Did someone break in? Was I being robbed? I got up out of bed and stood, wobbling a bit. Grabbing the edge of the bed, I crouched and lifted up the metal box from under my bed. There was a small handgun inside with some bullets in it. Pulling it out, I loaded it and put it behind my back. As I crept through the hallway, I held my head with one hand. It was pounding. The rustling sounds got louder as I crept around the corner into the small kitchen. There over the sink someone was bent over doing something. I crept up behind him and clicked the gun. He froze.

"Put your hands up and face me."

He slowly faced me. Red hair. Amethyst eyes. I dropped the gun. His eyes were wide.

"I'm sorry. I was just staying here because you were sick last night and --"

I had tried to step backward, but I fell once again. I had tripped over the rug that was in the middle of the crammed kitchen. The man gazed over me with question in his eyes. I smiled, "Sorry. I get really paranoid living here." The man glanced over at the gun.

"I noticed," He held out his hand and gave me a goofy grin. He helped me up. I rested on his shoulder because I was really too dizzy to stand. It was the closest I've been to man in two months. "You should go sit. I have soup on the oven for you." He guided me over to the chair and sat me down.

"So do you live here all by yourself?" He asked when he returned to the kitchen.

"Yeah," I replied, flipping on the television. The bowel of ice cream was still on the floor. I had never had the chance to clean it. Normally, I never trusted a member of the opposite sex especially someone I just met. I didn't even know his name!

The oven beeped. The aroma of the soup was soothing. I hadn't something warm in and hand made in quite the while. Here lately I've been living on turkey sandwiches and dry cereal. The funds were running a bit low. I forgot I even had some noodles in the cabinet. At least they'll be eaten now. I heard footsteps behind me; then there was a bowel placed in front of me. I picked at it a bit; then I just laid it on the table.

"If you eat that it'll make you feel better," He told me putting the bowel in front of me. I brought my knees to my chin and my arms around my legs, scooting as far back in the chair as I could.

"I can't," I looked it it disgustingly. He had a bit of a disappointed look in his face. I quickly shook my head, "It tastes great, but if I take just one more bite I might --" The thing I didn't want to happen was just about to happen. I jumped out of the chair and sprinted to the bathroom, my hand over my mouth.

He must have come in while my face was over the toilet. He pulled my hair back and rubbed my back like a mother would do their ill child. He was so caring for someone who he had never met me before. After I had stopped, I rubbed tears from my eyes, going over to the sink. I looked into the mirror at my face. I was pale as a ghost. I've never been this ill before. The man sighed, "Are you better now?"

"I feel much better," I mumbled.

He smiled, "I'm glad. I'm sorry if it seemed like I barged in, but I wanted to make sure you would be alright."

"Thanks a lot... What's your name?" I inquired.

By this time we were in the living room. I placed a blanket over my shoulders and watched as he grabbed his coat.

"Himura Kenshin," He put out his hand to me, "And what about you?"

"Kamiya Kaoru," I grabbed his hand and we shook.

He waved goodbye, and he told me to get plenty of rest and try to eat the soup while it was warm. I told him I would.

A week later I felt much better. I was well enough to even look for a job. Sano came over and knocked at the door as I was getting ready.

"Missy, where have you been at?" He asked when he saw me.

"Sick."

"Too sick to even call your friends?" He pressed on.

"Yep," I chirped and tied my hair back and finished buttoning my shirt. I didn't mind dressing in front of Sano. I knew him too well to care about silly stuff like that.

"So anyways, what's this place you wanted me to see so bad?" I asked, grabbing my keys and purse.

"Well my friend runs a small restaurant just down the street from here. They're hiring, and I thought it would be perfect for you." He explained as we walked out the door.

"Seriously? I mean, you do know what happened last time I worked at a fast food restaurant."

A vision ran through my head of a flaming stove.

"It's a waitress position. I hear there are great tips, and you won't have to step foot near a stove." He explained.

It sounded perfect for me, but I never saw a restaurant just down the street. There was a McDonalds, but McDonalds didn't have waitresses. We walked on to the elevator and Sano pressed the button.

"Sano where is this place at?" I asked.

We stepped off the elevator and some other kids stepped on with their dog that wasn't supposed to have been in the building. I laughed when Sano flinched when it barked at him. Sano never has been fond of dogs.

"Just follow me," he replied. I followed him to the spinning door that led outside.

I followed him a couple of blocks. Suddenly, he stopped at an hidden alleyway. I had never noticed it before. We went down to almost the very end and there were two glass doors. One had a sign on that read 'OPEN'. We walked in and a bell above the door rang.

There was an old lady who smiled pleasantly. She wore a blue apron and white collared shirt. The corner of her eyes wrinkled as she smiled warmly at us. She was one of those old ladies that you just want to hug because they are so sweet. Her smile lit up the whole room.

"Hello Sanosuke," She said. Sano bent to give her a hug. She turned to me with questioning eyes. I put my hand out," I'm Kamiya Karou. I'm Sano's friend." She smiled wide and placed her arms around me, ignoring my handshake. I was surprised a bit, but I patted her back.

"You're such a pretty girl. Better not let her go Sanosuke." She winked at Sano. Sano started laughing.

"No way!" I looked at him with narrowed eyes. He shook his hands in front of his face. "She's like a sis'! No way!" I smile and nodded my head. That answer was much better.

"So how can I help you guys today? " She said laughing. She grabbed a pad from her apron and a pen from her ear.

"Missy here needs a job," Sano and the woman glanced at me.

"OK. Kaoru would you please come to the back with me? Sano you stay here," She replied and grabbed me before I could say a word.

We walked past all the tables. Some of them were filled to the brim with laughing teenagers. Others were had only with men on cell phones or laptops and a glass of hot coffee. The restaurant was angled at just the right way to get the maximum amount of sunlight for reading and doing other things.

We walked through a pair of swinging doors. I saw a younger girl with long black hair and red lip stick working the cash register. There was another girl in the back washing dishes. Her hair was tied in a long black braid. She looked a lot like Misao. In fact, I think it was Misao.

"This is the best kept secret in all of New York." The lady said as she led me to a back room. I smiled.

"I bet. I live close to here and I've never seen this little restaurant. I bet the food is amazing," I replied to her. She looked at me with a smile.

"Well of course it is. I make it," She laughed a bit and winked at me. I giggled a bit.

I then glanced at her name tag. It read 'NANA'. Nana seemed like a very interesting lady.

She opened to the door to what appeared to be a small locker room. In the back was a huge stack of aprons, writing pads, and uniforms like Nana was wearing. I looked at her, puzzled, when she led me back there and started asking me for sizes.

"Small," I answered, confused by it all. "Don't I need to talk to the manager?"

She handed me a white shirt and a apron. "He's gone right now. His wife just died and her funeral was today."

"I'm sorry to hear that," I replied. She never looked at me while she said it.

"She was a great woman. I had never seen that man so happy before," She handed me a red skirt and told me to go into the dressing room. I had them on right away.

"Perfect. You're hired."

"No interview?" I asked.

"Nope," She simply replied and handed me a pad and pen. "Take the order, write it down, and give it to Misao. She's the girl with the braid. She'll help you with any questions."

"I know her. She's one of my friends," I told her.

"Well that's just an advantage then."

"So I start today?"

"Yes, I trust Sano's and Misao's judgment and they tell me about you all the time. I'm sure you can handle it. Welcome to the Pancake House," She patted me on the back and left me in the back room all alone.

My first day was kind of awkward, but Nana helped me a lot and so did Misao. I dropped a few plates of food, but Nana understood it was an accident and just gave me a mop to clean it up. Misao helped me get the routine of things and the secret of how to hold the tray so I won't drop the food. I had gotten a lot of tips. What Sano had heard was correct. I had at least fifty dollars in tips all on my first day. Nana seemed very pleased with me.

That evening Misao and I were left in charge of closing shop.

"So how did you like it?" She asked as we scrubbed counters off.

"I liked it a lot. Nana is really nice." I replied.

"Stay on her good side and you'll be here for a long time," Misao laughed.

"Really. I can't seem to keep a steady job."

"Yeah, don't worry about it."

"Hey do you want to come over to my house tonight Misao?" I asked her.

"Sure why not. It'll be fun Kaoru!" He green eyes lit up as she said that.

Sano said he would come here at the end of my shift to walk me home. I grabbed my purse out of the locker Nana had assigned and called him to make sure he was still coming. He said he was right outside. Misao laughed at my facial expression when I saw him standing at the door with his nose pressed against it. He couldn't get in because it was locked. I started laughing.

Sano had walked Misao and me to the elevator and waved bye. Later on, Misao and I were laughing at America's Funniest Videos and eating popcorn. We laughed hard when a man, who was walking around the track that surrounded a man-made pond, fell in the water.

"I haven't laughed this much in a long in a long time Misao,"

"How come?" She asked me.

"A broken heart, 'I replied.

"Guys are just stupid. Don't worry about him. A perfect guy is out there for you somewhere."

"I hope so," I trailed off.

Two days later the bell over the door of the restaurant rang. I was busy scrubbing up the counters where a little boy had spilled his soda. Nana came rushing past me with her arms open for a wide hug to the person who walked in. Misao followed in suit along with Megumi, the cashier. They all hugged the man and asked him how he was doing.

"I'm fine," He told them. I tried to peek though the three women to see the source of that familiar voice.

Nana gazed over at me, "This was the girl I was telling you about."

I had a clear view of the man now. His amethyst eyes were just as wide as mine must have been. We were both surprised.

"Kaoru?"

"Kenshin?"

We said our name at the same time.

Nana, Misao, and Megumi were all confused.

"You know each other?" They all asked at the same time. Neither of us replied.


	3. Chance Encounters

**Chapter 3****I Fall Every Time****By****: Sakura's Shadows**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Rurouni Kenshin!**

**I know it's short but it's an important ****chapter****. I promise the next one with be longer! I hope you'll enjoy it.**

We all stood there in silence for what seemed like forever. I don't know why he and I keep meeting like this, but...

I tried to walk forward.

There was a paper on the floor.

I stepped on it.

The next thing I knew was that I was staring up at the ceiling.

Once again, I fell when I saw Kenshin. It's odd; every time we meet it's by chance that something makes me fall. Maybe he's cursed. I saw Misao's grinning face and Kenshin's worried one.

"Are you OK?" Misao asked, putting out her hand.

I took it and she helped me stand. "Yeah," I muttered, brushing off my bottom. "I don't get it..."

"Get what?" Misao asked, scratching her head.

"Oh, nothing," I replied. Nana, Misao, Megumi, and Kenshin were all staring at me now. Megumi was holding back a snicker.

"Tell me," Misao argued.

"Later," I told her. She huffed, "Whatever."

There was a slight silence again. Kenshin made an _ahem_ noise and we all gazed at him. He pointed toward the line of people waiting at the cash register, complaining for no one taking their order. Megumi rushed over to her spot. Nana and Misao ran to the back and Kenshin and I were left.

"So how long have you been here?" Kenshin asked me.

"A week," I replied.

"Oh. Well, it's nice to have you here," Kenshin said and went to the back when Nana called.

A week had gone by and, as usual, every time Kenshin walked near me I would do something to fall. It was getting old really fast. I swear he's jinxed me! I swear it!

On Saturday I found myself going to the beach with Misao and Sano. Misao's 'friend' she met at the bar the on New Year's also tagged along. They sat by the pier on their towel. Sano was busy staking out watching all the girls. He told me to go do something else, which I was happy to do. He was so embarrassing sometimes.

I found myself over at the rock cliff on the opposite side of the beach. It was nice and secluded away form every one. I liked to come here to just think about everything that has gone on in my life up to now. Sometimes I find myself wondering about the stupidest things.

I breathed in the salt air as I stood on the highest rock and peered out at the ocean. I felt at peace. I haven't felt like this in a while. I've been trying to keep myself busy so I won't think about Enishi, but at times like this I can't help it. I don't get why things turned out like they did. Sometimes I find myself wondering and then I remember that stupid woman... Then I remember the day I walked into the apartment and found them there together, sitting on the couch holding hands, staring into each others' eyes.

It makes me sick. He told me her name once. It was the day he left.

He was packing the last bit his suitcase could fit.

"Tomoe will come for the rest later," He told me.

"I won't let her in," I told him.

"You will do as I say and let her in to get my things!" He shouted, grabbing my chin in his hand.

I spit in his face. "Get out."

"She'll find your stuff in boxes outside the door." I told him.

"Everything better be there, then." He said and walked out the door. I slammed it shut.

It made me sick just thinking about that day. It made me want to kill the wretched woman for stealing my Enishi. I hate them both with a pure passion.

I heard a footstep behind me; then a soft voice.

"I didn't mean to bother you," I heard someone say as I turned around. There was someone standing at the base of the rock that I was standing on.

"What are you doing here Kenshin?" I asked.

"I come here to think sometimes. It looks like I'm not the only one, "He smiled at me, and I smiled back.

I noticed a camera around his neck. "Do you like photography?" He peered down at his camera and back at me.

"It's a little hobby I do to get my mind off of things."

"Oh," I sat down and patted the spot beside me. "Can I see some of them?" He looked at me.

"I don't know." He hesitated before he sat down. "There not that good." He took the camera from around his neck and handed it to me. The little screen showed a small sample of the picture. I started flipping through them. "These are great."

I stopped at one. It was of a woman in a black dress sitting on a bench with her head in her hands. She looked absolutely beautiful. I then recognized the shoes that sat by her feet and the purse beside her.

"It's me," I whispered.

Kenshin peered at the screen. "Is it really?"

"I would recognize those old shoes anywhere." I said. I peered at it. It was a beautiful picture. It really was.

"I'm not a stalker or anything, but I was shooting pictures of people out for New Year's and I saw this woman, I mean, you sitting there. You're beautiful when you cry."

I blushed, "Thanks."

"You know that night was horrible." I said interrupting a falling silence. I handed back his camera, and he put it back around his neck.

"Why?"

"Well all these bad things kept happening. Before I got to the bar I got stuck in the rain. When I got there Sano took me in the back and told me he wanted to me someone. He just doesn't understand that--"

Kenshin interrupted me, "Did he tell you who he wanted you to meet?"

"No he said it was one of his friends, but it was probably some stupid guy he found wondering ar--"

Kenshin interrupted me again, "Sanosuke Sagara?"

I nodded, "Yeah. Why?"

"I was the one he wanted you to meet." Kenshin gazed out at the ocean. I looked at him while he talked.

"I showed up there right after Sanosuke got there. He wanted me to meet one of his best friends. I told him no, and I left." He explained.

"Is that where you were headed when you found me right after I fell?"

"Yes," He laughed a bit at the thought.

"So we live in the same apartment complex then?" I asked.

"Guess we do. I just moved there though."

"That's why I never saw you around. Why did you move there though?" I was talking more to myself.

"My wife and I were going through a divorce," He whispered.

"I'm sorry." He looked at me with sad eyes.

"Love can be cruel." He glanced at his watch. "Well I better be going Kaoru."

"Okay." We stood and he hopped off the rock with ease. I on the other hand, did it again.

Just as I took my first step, I slipped. I shut my eyes, waiting for the impact. It never came.

"You need to be more careful." I looked at Kenshin. He face was lit up with a smile. His arms were around me as if he were giving me a hug. I blushed, and he let go when he saw my reaction.

"Bye Kaoru."

"Bye." I watched him walk away with a soft smile on my face.


	4. Dressing Up

**Chapter Four****I Fall Every Time****By-Sakura's Shadows**

**Disclaimers- I don't own Rurouni Kenshin.**

**I really think this chapter turned out pretty good. It's longer than the last one, but it still came a bit short to what I usually write. I hope you guys enjoy reading it because I enjoyed writing it.**

That day I had woken up early for work. I sat one the edge of my bed looking at the white tennis shoes on my feet. My face rested in my hands. I don't know why I was waiting for that phone to ring. Did they forget? They never did before...

My apartment was deathly silent. The ring of silence settled in my ears. I hated that sound.

There was a knock at the door. I jumped at least two feet in the air. There was another knock. I got up from my spot on the bed and walked into the living room, my heart racing.

I answered the door.

"Hey Kaoru," came the bright voice of Misao. She walked right past me and sat herself on my couch, sighing.

"Hey," Sano's mellow voice nearly made me fall backwards. I hadn't seen him behind Misao.

"Kaoru?" Sano waved his hand in front of my face.

"Huh?" I blinked a few times.

"You okay?" Sano asked me.

"Oh. I'm fine," I replied and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. The ring of silence had finally left my ears. The apartment hadn't seemed that empty since Enishi left.

"Well, it's good you're okay Missy," Sano chirped, leaning against the bar.

I eyed him, "Why?"

"No reason."

Misao walked into the kitchen and grabbed my arm. "We're going to be late Kaoru. Let's go."

"Misao. What are you doing?" She pulled me out and rushed me to the elevator.

"Don't worry Missy! I'll lock up here!" I heard Sano shout before the elevator closed.

I looked at Misao. She had a very suspicious smile on her face. They were up to something. I think they forgot about today. I mean, it's a very special day. Every year they never forgot my birthday!

And this one was special. I was finally going to turn twenty-one.

We arrived at work just on time. Nana rushed in from the back and pushed the tray and notepad in my face. I looked around the restaurant; it was full. Every seat was full to the brim. People were complaining about their orders not being taken. I got right on the ball. Misao and Nana ran to the back. Megumi left her spot from the cash register to help out with the complaining customers. It was okay for her to do that because she only had to take their money when they were finished and ready to leave.

I rushed to the back to hand over the first order. I saw Kenshin with an apron on and over the stove cooking. I smiled. I never knew he could cook.

"Move Kaoru," Megumi said. She pushed me to the side and gave Kenshin her order. He took it with a smile.

"Thank you Megumi," He told her. I looked at her with narrow eyes. That was so rude! She walked past me with a smug look on her face. I just wanted to go pound her face in or wring her neck. Maybe I could rip out her hair...

"Kaoru!" I heard a shout from the back of the kitchen. Kenshin was waiting for my order.

"Sorry," I said, coming out of my little daydream. The rest of the day was busy and by three o' clock the crowd had subsided.

I sat down at one of the tables and sighed. Nana came from the back wiping her hands on her apron.

"Good work today," Said Kenshin, from the back.

Misao sat beside me and Kenshin and Nana stood together beside the counter. Megumi was counting the last of her money.

"That was the biggest crowd we had in quite the while," said Misao.

"Yeah," I replied, wiping the hair from my face.

"Well everyone can have the rest of the day off." Kenshin said.

Misao's face lit up, "Seriously?"

"Yes, everyone worked very hard today." Misao clapped. Megumi flipped her hair and smiled. I closed my eyes, and mouthed thank you.

"Everyone gets a much needed break," Nana explained. She was the first out the door.

Megumi came from behind the counter and walked over to where Misao and I sat.

"How about we all go shopping?"

We all ended up at the in one of the clothing stores on the second floor of the mall. Misao was looking at some dresses while Megumi and I were looking at the skirts.

She eyed me in a weird way that mad me squirm. In her hand she held a miniskirt that looked like it would cover nothing, and it coasted more than a months rent.

"You should try this on," She handed it out to me.

"Nope." I pushed it away.

"Oh, come on." She pushed into my face.

"No. Now get it out of my face."

"Grumpy now aren't we."

I wasn't in the best of moods. That was for sure. "I'm going."

Megumi smirked and turned around. Before I got to the door, Misao grabbed my hand.

"Look," She said eagerly. She held up a black halter top dress. It looked like it would go to the knees, and it had a beautiful bottom.

"It's pretty." I told her.

"Try it on Kaoru. Please."

"I can't."

"Come on," She pleaded pushing me to the back of the store against my will. She put the dress in my hand and pushed me into the dressing room. I sighed and sat on the bench, staring at the dress. This always happens when we go out shopping. Misao will always make me try on things that I can't afford; then she'll buy them for me and I'll feel bad.

I slipped on the little black dress, managing to zip up the back. I walked out of the dressing room slowly. I wasn't used to showing this much skin. Most of the clothes I've been wearing since Enishi left has been sweats. Well, except for that dress I wore to the New Year's Eve party.

Misao and I walked out of our dressing room at the same time. She walked out with a simple red dress that came to her knees.

"Spin for me," She giggled. I did so and she clapped. "This is perfect. Don't take it off," she paused and handed me a pair of heals, "These will go perfect."

"Misao we can't wear these out of the store." I told her.

"Yes we can. I already paid for them." She waved her credit card in front of my face.

"You know I hate it when you do this to me, Misao." She giggled and put on her shoes.

"I know." I slipped on my shoes. Megumi came into the dressing room, eying the both of us.

"Why are you guys so dressed up?"

"You know why Megumi. I already told you it's Kaoru's birthday."

Megumi pursed her lips, "Oh, yes, the big 21. Congratulations Kaoru." She flipped her hair and walked into the dressing room."

"Happy Birthday by the way!" Misao shouted and gave me a big hug.

"Thanks. I thought everyone forgot."

"Well you know I would never forget Kaoru," Misao patted my hand.

"I have an idea," Megumi called out from her dressing room.

"What's that?" Misao inquired.

Megumi walked out of the dressing room. I looked her up and down. She qas simply beautiful. She had a classic face with high cheek bones small lips and almond eyes. She had that traditional Japanese look like the woman I see in books. I think I almost envy her. She smiled and looked straight at me.

"We should call Kenshin and go to dinner."

"That's a great idea," Misao chirped.

"I'm going to go home," I told the both of them.

"But Kaoru--"

"Call me when you guys get ready for dinner."

I wanted to leave. I just didn't feel right around Megumi. An hour later, I sat on my couch in pajamas watching T.V. There was a soft knock on the door.

"One Second!" I yelled. I turned down the T.V. and rubbed my fingers through my wet hair, trying to look some what presentable.

I walked to the door and opened it. He stood there with with his goofy lopsided smile with a bag of groceries. His red hair hadn't been touched since work, and he wore a blue dress shirt and light brown khakis.

"Care for a birthday dinner?"

I laughed at him. "Come in."

He walked past me and set the groceries on the counter.

Later he both sat at the table with steaming plates of noodles and fresh tossed salad. Desert was a big chocolate cake that I couldn't wait to dig into. I walked in and he stood, eying me up and down. I looked very different from my usual self. My hair was pulled back and I wore a little bit of make-up and the dress Misao had bought me.

"Don't get used to it."

He laughed. "I won't."

He pulled out my chair and poured us both wine.

"Happy 21." We clinked our cups together.

Later, on we sat on the couch watching a movie. A commercial had came on and he had 'accidentally' poked me in the side because I had dosed off a bit. I burst in a fit of laughter as he did it more. I tried to squirm from that poking finger, but somehow we ended up on the floor. He was above me breathing hard, a smile on his lips. His red hair escaped it confinements and made a curtain of silk around us both. He stopped for a moment to let me catch my breath; then he started again. He pinned both of my hands above my head and kept tickling.

"Stop. I give up," I said between laughs.

"Are you sure?"

"YES!"

I pulled my head up. Our faces were inches apart. The smile faded off his lips and his eye-lids were half closed. Was he going to kiss me? I went into panic mode. I didn't know what to do. Then, the phone saved me. He got up off me, and I rushed to my purse and dug around until I found my cell phone. I was still out of breath.

"Yeah."

"Come down to the Pancake House now!"

"Is there something wrong?"

"Just hurry."

He hung up.

"Sano?" I shut the phone. Kenshin looked at me with concern.

"What's wrong?" He asked

I grabbed my coat. "Sano called just now. His voice sounded frantic. He told me to come down to the Pancake House."

Kenshin flipped off the T.V. "I'll go with you."

As we walked out of the door, I could have sworn I saw a smile on Kenshin's face.


	5. A NotSoHappy Surprise

**Chapter Five****I Fall Every Time**

Sorry for the long wait, but I've been busy with all the end of school stuff. You know prom- testing. I had a bit of writer's block too. It got cured though, so I'm back and I hope this chapter pleases everyone because it was really intense for me to write! I like the turn out. So, please review because you know you want too! Trust me, this isn't the climax. There's still a lot more to come, so be patient. :D

"Sano!" I yelled as I ran through the door. Kenshin came in behind me, and I heard the bell above the door ring. The whole restaurant was pitch black and very silent compared to the noisy crowd we had earlier that day. "Sano?"

I was confused now. What was going on? Sano never acted like that on the phone unless it was important. Kenshin put his hand on my shoulder and gripped it. My eyes widened. There was a flash of bright light and then...

"SURPRISE!" I was taken back when everyone came out from behind the counter, their hands in the air, grinning from ear to ear.

I was stunned for a few moments. Misao busted out laughing, Sano followed.

"Happy Birthday Kaoru," Nana said, coming from the kitchen. She held a giant cake with my name on it and twenty-one candles.

Later that night, I found myself sitting at a table, chatting with Misao and Kenshin. Someone pecked me on the shoulder. I looked back and it was Megumi.

"Yeah?" It asked her. She wasn't my favorite person in the world. She's been acting like a jerk all day, and I really did not want to talk to her right now.

"Follow me. We need to have a talk, Kaoru."

She was serious. I nodded. What ever this was, it wouldn't end up good for sure. "You guys I'll be right back, okay?"

"Alright, but hurry back Kaoru," Misao said. I nodded and Kenshin just smiled and nodded.

I followed Megumi to the back room behind the kitchen. Nana was in there cooking up food for everyone. I smiled; she always did over the top things, it seemed like. Megumi stopped at the door to Kenshin's office. She pulled a key out of her purse and opened it. I was puzzled. I had never been in Kenshin's office before. She flipped on the light and walked towards the window behind the desk.

It was a simple office with a desk, computer, and two chairs. Pictures occupied one section of the desk and were faced to where I could not see them. The walls were white and the floor blue. It matched the rest of the restaurant.

"Are we supposed to be in here?" I asked.

Megumi shrugged. "I don't know."

"What are you up to Megumi?"

"So many questions now." Megumi stared at me with a quirked eyebrow.

I took a couple of steps and she turned all the way around to face me. There was a picture on the wall that I hadn't noticed before. It made me feel uneasy. Kenshin had his arms around a beautiful young woman. I shivered.

"Quite the couple," Megumi said. She laughed a bit. "Listen." I looked at her, "I know you like Kenshin."

I didn't reply. I kept my eyes on the picture. Megumi continued, "I've known Kenshin for a long time. Since we were kids to be exact," She paused when I looked at her, "I really do care for him."

"So do I," I whispered. I knew where this was heading. Megumi frowned. "His wife fell for another man," I felt my stomach drop, "Kenshin had his heart torn in half." Megumi found a seat in a chair that sat in the corner. She drummed her fingers on the little table beside it. My eyes peered back to the picture.

"I don't want to see that happen again, Kaoru." She had said it sternly.

"Tell me one thing Megumi," I whispered.

"What's that?"

"Who is that woman?" She laughed when she followed my finger.

"I'm sure you know her well. I heard your name called out many times from that man she was with; the one that was supposed to be with you." She explained. My eyes brimmed with tears. "It seemed he had a little fling with our little Tomoe. They met many times in this very office."

"That wasn't my question," I said. She looked at me; then at the picture.

"Tomoe." She walked out of the room, leaving me there in silence with the picture. I looked into those deep brown eyes of Tomoe, thinking back to that day Enishi came to get this ring. She had come the next day after Kenshin had headed home.

-

-

I sat there on the couch, staring blankly out the window. The day was closing and it showed in the shadows of the sun. The room was tinted in orange from the sunset. There was a soft knock on the door. I didn't answer. There was another knock. I knew it was her.

I opened the door and saw a woman that looked about twenty-five. Her jet black hair framed her oval-shaped face. She gave me a slight nod.

"What is it?" I asked leaning against the door, allowing her to walk in. She can in and sat on the couch. I fumed; she was acting like I wanted her to be comfortable.

"Enishi's things." was her brief answer. I had just remembered I never had put them outside. I was, still blank from being sick and forgot all about it.

"One second," I muttered. I walked into my room. Rummaging through the closet, i found the rest of his clothes and on the chest I grabbed his watch and spare glasses. I put them in a small brown box. Tomoe was in the doorway when I entered the living room. I held out the box and she took it.

"Thank you," She said. She started to turn to leave, but I stopped her with a simple question.

"Why?"

She peered down at the box of clothes and jewelry. "I don't know." She closed her eyes.

"You don't love him. I can tell," my eyes went to her finger. The diamond ring that was mine once sparkled on her ring finger. "You're in it for the money. That ring is worth thousands."

She had never replied back. I watched her walk slowly to the elevator. Tomoe gave me one last glance before she stepped in. I saw Kenshin step out. He looked as though he had saw a ghost, but the expression didn't last long. He gave me his trademark grin, but his eyes told a different story.

-

-

"I just never knew the man she loved was Kenshin," I whispered. I walked out, closing the door behind me. The little hall, in the back of the restaurant where Kenshin's office was, was dark. Megumi lingered at the end of it.

"Listen, don't get involved with Kenshin, Kaoru," She told me before I passed her, "Nothing good will come of it."

I walked away and didn't say another word. I walked back to all the music and smells of sweet food. I heard the chatter of all the people. I paused when I saw Kenshin. He looked at me with a puzzled face.

"I'm going." That was all I said. Misao yelled for me to come back.

"Kaoru," His voice was like a dagger to my heart. Tears ran down my face as I ran outside, out of the alley, and to the sidewalk. I heard his voice call my name again. It made me fall to my knees.

"Why am I so stupid?" I cried punching the cement, not paying attention to the sting of pain that would haunt me later.

I heard footsteps and then he crouched down, "Kaoru?"


	6. Lets go Somewhere

Chapter Six  
I Fall Every Time

* * *

I don't know why I had reacted the way I did. Kenshin did absolutely nothing wrong...

But yet my heart felt like it was ripped out from my chest and the rain kept falling, seeming as though the sky was crying with me. _Tomoe and Kenshin? In love?_ I punched the cement once more, ignoring the small ribbon of blood that traveled with the rain down the side walk.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was his.

"Kaoru?" He asked. I couldn't even bear to hear my name on his lips. _But he did nothing wrong_. I told myself this, turned, and he was there with question, concern…..love….in his lavender eyes.

"I fell again," I say as I stand, grabbing his hand, "I fell hard." I placed his hand on my chest. "It still hurts." I placed my free hand on his chest, feeling the thumping of his heart. I said nothing for a while. We just stood there, staring at one another. His light blue shirt wasn't tucked into his khakis anymore. It stuck to his skin, showing off his trim body. His hair was matted to his face, mine too. I removed my hand from his chest and rested it on his cheek speaking, "I bet yours does too." All the while, tears still dripped from my eyes, mixing with the pouring raindrops.

I let go then, turned and ran, leaving him there standing, Misao in the background yelling for me to come back.

I didn't. I ran all the way home.

For the next week I never went to work, answered the phone, ignored the knocks on the door and the worried voices that was on the other side, or left my apartment. I stayed on my bed, staring at the ceiling or took out my tub of ice cream and ate it while sitting in front of the TV, not paying the slightest bit of attention to it. A million thoughts ran through my head. I was not mad at Kenshin. I could not be. I had no reason to be. He did everything so right. He went out of his way for me… I did nothing for him. I wanted to turn time back to New Years Eve and change everything, but I could not… an impossible dream.

This day, the day that was a week after my birthday, I sit here alone in my apartment, the flashing images on the TV the only thing to keep me company. I stare at the empty tub of ice cream on the coffee table then out the window at the night sky.

"I want some more ice cream…" I say to myself, the first time in all this week that I've used my voice. I just didn't know how to bring myself to get up and leave, walk out in the cold, and walk about a block to the grocery store. Somehow I managed.

I grabbed my coat and keys off the counter, stuffing them securely in my pocket. I put my feet into some tennis shoes that sat in the corner. I never bothered to get out of my pajamas. There was no point to it… I opened my door and gasped.

He stood there his red hair a tangled mess, falling out of the confinements of his hair tie. His eyes shone brightly. The corners of his mouth tugged upward into a smile.

"Hey." He said to me, the tone of his voice welcoming, inviting, something I had missed. It seemed as though nothing had change he was the normal, cheerful Kenshin that I fell for. I looked down, ashamed. I felt a hand on my shoulder

"I think we need to talk Kaoru." He squeezed my shoulder and let go.

"Yeah," I whispered, never looking up. I couldn't bare to look him square the face after just walking away the way I did. I would understand if he was so mad that he would never want to talk or even see me again. Kenshin took his hand from my shoulder; I stepped aside and he walked in past me. I shut the door and stood there for a second. Then I turned; he was in the kitchen with a somber look on his face.

"All you have is Ramen noodles?" He asked shaking the half empty box that lay on the counter.

"Yeah," I smiled sheepishly. I hadn't been out in a week. He knew me well enough that I never buy a lot of food and the food I did was never put away. What I ate, which, by the way, was always something that you could put into a microwave; was usually roman noodles or I would order something, or go to the restaurant. I didn't want to be responsible for burning down the apartment complex.

He chuckled and walked over to the couch, sitting. Kenshin knew he didn't have to ask, although, this time things seemed to be a bit different… awkward... tense…

We were always comfortable around each other but now… I sat on the small arm chair beside the couch. I peered to the TV watching the random images float on endlessly.

"Kaoru," The silence we had created was broken.

I looked at him for the first time. His eyes were full with unspoken words. I needed to apologize. I needed to make things right. My eyes burned suddenly as my mind raced with a whirlwind of thoughts. I gathered my elf into the warmth of the chair, hugging my knees to me. The words I wanted to say were at the tip of my tongue, "I'm sorry"

"What?" He asked with a surprised tone in his voice. I tried my best to hide the tears but one escaped.

"For over reacting…It was not my place," I say, my voice cracking.

"Kaoru?"

"Yeah?" I said, as I wiped my face with the sleeve of my shirt.

"We miss you at the shop. Misao has been sulking all week. She's really worried about you. Even Sano is," He explained to me. I let my legs go. When my feet touched the floor Kenshin stood, holding out his hand.

"Come on. Let's go somewhere just you and me," He grinned at me.

How could he be so forgiving after what happened?

"Okay," I whisper. I put my hand into his.

* * *

**The Sixth Chapter... Honestly, this was really hard to write. Every day I would open it up and try to figure out what to do with it. Writer's Block sucks... I hate it because I really hate long updates... It always irked me in the back in my mind ...got to update..I try not to do that but the block sets in and this happens... Anyways here it is and I enjoyed writing once I got some inspiration.**

**Standard Disclamers!!**


	7. It All Comes Out

**Chapter 7**

**I Fall Every Time**

* * *

I sat there watching the concrete jungle turn into the soft dunes of sand down below the cliffs that led to my special spot. That's where he was taking us. At one point Kenshin turned on the radio to fill up the silence that engulfed the car. I just sat there, staring out the window, thinking about the past few months. It's been a roller coaster of emotions: strong emotions. It seems all so hard to deal with. I'm heart broken, but I'm falling in love all over again. How could that be when just months ago I felt as though I could never open my heart and trust any one again? Then, Kenshin just came rolling along and swept me off my feet.

It's just when I'm around him, I feel like I'm all safe, that nothing could ever hurt me. I never felt like that when I was with Enishi. The feelings I'm having now… Is this… Kenshin and I… Is this what true love really is?

"Kaoru?" He said my name as he turned down the radio.

"Hmm." I replied, turning my head a bit so I could see his face. He stared intently on the road, checking his mirrors occasionally.

"Megumi came up to me the other day." He answered. I shifted in my seat, taken back. That sneaky little… What was she trying to do?

I clenched my fist, "What did she say?"

"One second…" He turned his wheel and pulled into the nearest parking space. We both got out of the car, forgetting about the conversation for a moment. I looked to my left and saw my favorite rock jetting over the ocean. The sky was grey and the air smelled like salt, the wind strong, sending my ebony locks in every direction. I pulled my sweater close to me. Winter was a hard time to be at the beach, but it was when it was the most beautiful. Kenshin walked close to me almost begging for me to come closer. He forgot his jacket at my apartment. Smooth. I chuckled at my thought. I saw him smile. We sat on the rock side by side and stared out to the ocean.

I offered him part of my sweater, but when I did he gathered me into his lap and wrapped the sweater around both of us. I didn't expect this out of him and I yelped when he pulled me over. Surprised as I was… I quite liked it.

"She told you about Tomoe did she not?" He inquired into my ear.

I pulled my head away, nodding as I did so. He sighed and hugged me close when the icy wind blew hard.

"We were married for a whole year," He said in gentle voice, "It was one of the best times of my life. I was so in love and as time went on it only grew stronger."

"You loved her that much?" I whispered.

He heard me and took a deep breath, his voice growing shaky as he talked, "Eight months into the marriage she started acting strange. She never returned my calls. She never came home when she said she would. Her excuse every time was work was demanding right then. I believed her with all my heart. Even though deep down…"

He paused and I finished his sentence, "You knew it wasn't." He drew in another deep breath and let out slowly.

"I just wanted her to be happy, so I filed for a divorce two months later when I found out everything."

"Enishi…" I sighed, "Enishi… did you know who exactly he was?"

"No," He replied.

"He was the man that stole my heart then tore it to pieces. He was with Tomoe."

Kenshin didn't say a word he just listened. I didn't say anything for a while. Neither of us didn't. It was all so much to take in all at once. Most of it was hard to hear, but for things to be truly resolved in my and his mind, it would be best to continue and get everything out into the open: No secrets.

"Tomoe came to my apartment…"

"I remember." Kenshin said. I heard a sob. He still hurt so badly. A part of him was still head over hills with her, but another part was ready to move on. I got prepared for what he would tell me next. "Two weeks after that day she died, "He paused and took a moment to reclaim himself," In a car accident. At that time we were still legally married, but she was in the process of moving out."

"To know that Enishi and her were only few floors above me doing all that. Kenshin it makes me sick," I took his face in my hands, wiping away the tears that had gathered, "I'm so sorry for what you have gone through."

The action he took next surprised me.

* * *

**The Next Chapter will certainly be longer. I just wanted to make this a filler. The next chapter is the most important one so I'm saving all of my inspiration for that. For now Enjoy. Don't forget to review they really encourage me to keep going! Until next time.**

**Standard Disclaimers.**


	8. What if I Said IT Part 1

**I Fall Every Time  
****Chapter 8 Pt 1  
****What if I said _IT  
_Sakura's Shadow**

* * *

He put his hand on my cheek, his finger stroking it gently. My eyes widened. I was surprised, stunned really. Never in a million years would I think he would do this: stroke my cheek so lovingly. There was an intense warmth building up in the pit of my stomach. It made me feel uncomfortable and good at the same time. Was that even possible?

"Thank you so much," He breathed. I put my hand on top of his just as he pulled me at the waist closer to him. Was this really happening? All I could do was smile. For the first time that day I looked directly into his eyes. All I saw was love in those amethyst eyes of his; it was something I had never seen before, but somehow for all this time I yearned to see it from Kenshin. Everyday I never saw him for this past week my heart dropped deeper and deeper into dark a pit. I thought it would never come out. But now it is, and I couldn't be happier.

"You're wel-"He captured my lips with his. My heart skipped a beat as he pulled me even closer to him the heat in my stomach was exploding into something that made my body just want to melt into his. Never have I felt like this. It was pure bliss. The kiss broke into a passionate one full of want, frustration, and most important love. I cherished every second.

We were in our own little world now and I never wanted to leave, but sadly we both had to come up for air. I was a bit flustered.

"Thank you so much for being there Kaoru. You've helped more than you will ever know." He whispered, stroking my cheek delicately. I just nodded. There were no words needed. Everything I wanted to say came from that one kiss. It was true. It had to be. True love did feel like this. I never wanted it to leave.

We stayed there on our rock and stared at the ocean in pure bliss. We were in our own little warm world where nothing went wrong. I wanted to stay there for an eternity; It was an escape from the cold one we that we live in outside all of this.

-

-

-

"Then he kissed me!" I almost shouted. Misao grabbed in a tight hug.

"I'm so glad everything is better for you," She said, a beaming smile on her face. She then frowned when Megumi walked in. I just went back to work in the back, flipping my pancake that Nana wanted me to start learning to make. She had been acting a bit different for the past couple of days, so had Misao. Megumi thankfully withdrew herself from everyone, as we were all ignoring her and her arrogance anyways. She ruined my birthday, so I think she deserved it all, although deep, deep, deep, deep down I felt a tinge of pity for her. She's missing out on some good friends.

Nana, however, has not been in good shape. She's been showing up at work later and later every day from what Misao told me. When I looked at her I noticed the circles under her eyes and the absence of her beloved purple eye shadow that she used to wear everyday. I miss the vibrant woman I met when I first came here. She was replaced by a tired, sickly woman, who seemed to have the life sucked right out of her. My heart truly went out to her. She has become like my mother in these past few months, so I would never want anything bad to happen to her.

Misao on the other hand seemed tamer; if that was possible. She hadn't had a drink or went to any clubs. She and Aoshi have seemed to become very much closer, which was odd for Misao because usually by now she would've moved on to the next guy. She spent more time in the bathroom at times. I'm going to make a educated guess and say she pregnant and just at this moment as I was about to flip my pancake I saw Misao from the corner of my eye run to the bathroom with her hand over mouth. My suspicions _have_ to be right. I went to the back and down the hall to where that bathroom was and knock on the white door.

"You ok," I said.

"Come in here fast!" I heard her should I did so. As I opened my door my eyes came to rest on her tiny frame slumped over the toilet.

"Pregnant." I simply said.

"Guilty," She replied and put her head back into the toilet. I took her hair that had escaped the braid that went down her back out of her face. After a few minutes she was done.

"How long have you known?" I asked pouring her a cup of water. We were in the employee lounge now.

"Two weeks." She answered gulping down the ice cold water. I rubbed my hands on my apron, sitting next to her.

"Does he know?"

"No." She looked down, guilt written all over her face. "You can't tell a soul!"

I waved my hands in front of my face. "Misao, do you really think I would tell," She looked at me quizzically, "You can trust me and it's your decision not mine."

"Thank you," She whispered, hugging me. I felt her shoulders start to shake. I patted her back.

For a second everything seemed quiet. I thought I had heard someone out in the hall, but I guess not. My eyes widened when I had realized that I left the oven on in the kitchen. I let go of Misao and ran out of the lounge before she could say a word. I ran into the kitchen, and I heard people coughing.

"Oh no!" I yelled when I made it too the kitchen.

* * *

**This chapter is going to be in three different parts. There's a reason why I'm doing, but you'll just have to wait and see. So for now enjoy! I had a very good time writing this. It was my first kissing scene.**


	9. What if I said IT Part 2

I Fall Every Time

**I Fall Every Time  
What if I said IT? part 2**

**Standard Disclaimer...**

* * *

"Oh no!" I yelled when I made it too the kitchen. The stove top was on fire. Just then, I saw a blur of red and then a squirting sound. I realized it was Kenshin with a fire extinguisher. Megumi and Sano were out front, ushering people out the door.

I whipped off my apron to fan out some of the smoke from the extinguished fire. Kenshin dropped the extinguisher, gripping the counter behind him, breathing heard, eyes closed

I watched as his chest heaved up and down, then, they went to the foam on the stove. My heart was in my ears and everything went mute. Why do things always go wrong for me? This had to happen just when people were finally starting to trust me with a stove. Maybe I would get it next time…

Sano walked into the kitchen, fanning away some of the smoke with his hand. He was followed by Megumi, who rushed immediately to Kenshin's side. My eyes narrowed as her petite fingers made their way Kenshin to pat him on the arm. I pictured myself lunging forward, tackling her to the ground, pulling out that long, black hair of hers. Breathe Kaoru. It's just Megumi trying to get you worked up. My eyes narrowed when she began to speak to the exasperated Kenshin.

"Kenshin are you all right?" she inquired in an oh-so-deep, sultry tone.

Oh boy. Keep it cool, Kaoru… for his and everyone else's' sake. My knuckles turned white, just then.

Megumi batted her long lashes while quickly glancing my way, a hint of smugness in that wide smirk of hers. Oh, did she get me worked up! Her hands rose a bit higher on his arm, and when they did, I envisioned her head in the dish water I made earlier, her body squirming as she struggled for air. That would certainly take away that smug look on her face. My arm was shaking now with how tight I was clenching my fist. I think my nails broke some skin…

"I'm alright." With that Kenshin snatched away his arm and walked over to me.

It was my turn to smirk. Megumi simply turned away with her nose in the air. Haha! Hands off you little … Hey wait a second… Since when was I so...

"Kaoru are you all right?" He took me in a hug.

…Possessive?

"Yeah," I mumbled, my warm breath on his neck seemed to make him stiffen just a bit. Megumi snorted at the display of affection. For a second, I wanted to be ten again and stick my tongue out at her. Just then, something better came to mind. With an oh-so-soft smile on my face, I took my arms and encircled them around Kenshin's neck, stood on my tip toes, and brought my lips to his. Her jaw dropped then. Bingo! Oh boy was this good – Two birds with one stone.

Kenshin pulled back, searching my face. I smiled at him, just as the smoke finally – a bit too slowly – made its way to the ceiling setting off the sprinklers. I heard a snicker come from Sano who watched the whole show.

I buried my face in Kenshin's chest taking in his musty scent. I heard a deep rumble erupt form him. He was laughing. I pulled back, and when I did, I felt myself get soaked, hair starting to stick to my face and… oh dear… white shirt. My face heated. Megumi started laughing…Oh no…she just did not… GAH!

I snatched my apron off the floor and tied it around my now transparent shirt. My eyes traveled to the chuckling Kenshin, who seemed to see that I was getting a bit flustered. He walked over too me, putting his hand on the small of my back, nudging me to follow him out of the room where Sano and Megumi were now laughing uncontrollably. Frankly, I had to be disappointed in them both, laughing at such a ridiculous thing. Really, they should have been at least a little more mature than that. I mean… we're all adults here…so you know… they could at least act like it.

Kenshin led me into the locker room where the towels were and handed me one. Graciously, I took it, still feeling the heat on my cheeks.

"You're adorable when you're all flustered," Kenshin chuckled. I smiled, sheepishly scratching the back of my head.

"Thanks?" I didn't know whether or not to take it as a compliment or insult.

"The sprinklers should die down in a second." Kenshin said nonchalantly, taking the towel to dry his damp face. My eyes stayed on him from a second, just taking in the sight. His yellow polo shirt stuck to him as did his now soaked khaki pants. He hair seemed a bit more tame, as it stuck to his head from the quick soaking we both received. My gaze traveled to his slightly parted lips and I couldn't help it…

I stepped forward a bit, raised myself to his height, and made my lips ghost over his, our silent breaths mingling in the mere millimeters that separated us, as my hands suddenly took a fistful of his damp shirt. His warm embrace pulled me closer, then, he obliged my silent plea.

And we were in bliss.

-

* * *

A week later after the incident I found myself in my apartment with Misao, in her hand, a jar of pickles and in mine, a tube of cheese.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked.

"Mhm," Was her answer as she snatched away the spray cheese and took a pickle out of the jar. She sat down on a stool and took the cheese, spraying half the bottle on the pickle. That was just disgusting… I cringed when she offered me a bit. Just the thought of it made me want to…

As if on cue, Misao dropped the pickle to the floor, making a beeline to my bathroom. Sighing, I went after her. She sat there hunched over the toilet, throwing up the contents of her stomach. I rushed to her, shaking my head, my hand rubbed her back…

This has suddenly become a routine of ours. She was maybe about a month along with a baby that its father knew nothing about. I was going to have a talk to Misao. Aoshi really needs to know about it. He needs to be prepared. Being a father is a big responsibility. And Frankly I don't Misao or him just know what they have stumbled onto. This child needs a stable environment. I mean, don't get me wrong I love Misao as to death, but she is a bit… wild, and she's just not really not a one-man woman. Celibacy was just not her thing and I'm sure it wasn't Aoshi's thing either. They loved the night life… you know clubs, drinking, partying and having a baby would suddenly force them out of that world and into a world full of bottles and a whining baby. I'm not sure if they're ready for that. But then again.. Who is? I know I wouldn't be and at the moment…I have a bit more stable life than Misao. Misao's a strong girl, though. She'll be able to figure things out, and she has more than enough people to help her should she need it.

So I'm sure things will be alright…

"Kaoru?"

I looked at her, "Yeah?"

"Pickles."

I sighed… Then again… Misao is Misao…the quirky girl…that is my best friend. I smiled, nodded, and handed her the half eaten jar and watched as she plopped herself on the couch, ravishing the jar until it was clean.

I sat beside her, watching as she laid the jar on the coffee table, leaneing back into the plush cushions, sighing. This was going to be a long ride that I wasn't sure if I wanted to join her in.

"So are you and Kenshin a thing now?" She asked out of nowhere.

I gazed her for a second. Were we? I really wasn't sure of that myself. I mean the way we have been acting around each other sure made it seem like we were an item…to everyone but us. To us it was just innocent flirting and there was nothing wrong with that… Was there? No. There couldn't be… Could there? I mean, I get really possessive and from the looks of it… so does he. I mean that other night at the club proved that. I was dancing with a guy, something I never usually do I might add, and Kenshin suddenly pushed him away, starting where the other guy left off. But then we were both a little… under the influence. But still…

"I don't know." I heard myself say.

"I think you are. You're practically doing it every time you guys even just glance at each other," She said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah," I mumbled, stuffing my face with ice cream that seemed to pop out of nowhere.

-

­

* * *

It was my sitcom night. You know we all have those nights where we just want to pig out on our favorite snack and watch old reruns. Well, it was Saturday night, so it was my turn. I found my self laughing at a guy who had no clue about anything. I'd seen the episode so many times that I could recite every word.

"But mom. I can't. She's right there!" Then the laugh real came.

"Come on just put it in." Again a laugh real…

"But mom I can't…it's too..."

"AHH!" Another laugh real...

"Ouch! My finger!"

"Oh move over from the stove… I'll get them." The laugh real came along with mylaughs. The spoon hung from my mouth as I giggled on endlessly. That never got old - corny as it was.

My laughs were interrupted by the phone ringing.

"Yeah?" I answered a bit more angrily than I meant.

"Did I catch you at a wrong time?" came in Kenshin's smooth tone.

A smile crept onto my face, "Nope."

"Oh well… I was just wondering if I could come over there. It's so boring here."

"Yeah. Sure. Of course." I answered in a chipper tone. I could just see that goofy grin creep across his face.

"Alright. I'll be there in just a few seconds."

"Alright." And we hung up. I looked down at my wrinkled pajamas. I wanted to change, but I was just so comfortable. Kenshin wouldn't mind though… So there's no need to worry yourself, Kaoru. I smoothed back my hair into a low pony tail and tried to rid my two-sized-too-big jogging pants, that I 'borrowed' from Kenshin a few days ago, of wrinkles. I walked over to the door just as I heard the soft knock.

* * *

**So this if for the two of you that still might care to even read this story. I'm sorry that I'm not updating like I should. Things have just been a little...different here lately. My life is going into a million different directions and it's just so hard to find time to actually be on the computer. Well I stayed up extra late to finish this and spit it out for everyone to read...**

**I took a turn from being all serious to actually add some humor to the story. Humor is certainly a genre that I'm not quite fond of writing.. but I thought why not... It was actually a bit fun... but the next and last part of this trilogy chapter will be on a more serious tone, as it's time to get into the meat of the story. In this chapter I tried to do some character development on the triangle of Megumi, Kenshin, and Kaoru. I also did some on Aoshi and Misao...just for reading purposes.**

**So anyways reviews... those help me keep coming with new ideas and keeps the wheels in my brain going. So please for the sake of me... hit that button and inspire me! XD**


	10. What if I said IT Part 3

**Chapter 8 Pt 3**

**What if I said IT**

**Disclaimers: Don't own RK.**

* * *

"Yeah?" I answered a bit more angrily than I meant.

"Did I catch you at a wrong time?" came in Kenshin's smooth tone.

A smile crept onto my face, "Nope."

"Oh well… I was just wondering if I could come over there. It's so boring here."

"Yeah. Sure. Of course." I answered in a chipper tone. I could just see that goofy grin creep across his face.

"Alright. I'll be there in just a few seconds."

"Alright." And we hung up. I looked down at my wrinkled pajamas. I wanted to change, but I was just so comfortable. Kenshin wouldn't mind though… So there's no need to worry your self, Kaoru. I smoothed back my hair into a low pony tail and tried to rid my two-sized-too-big jogging pants, which I 'borrowed' from Kenshin a few days ago, of wrinkles. I walked over to the door just as I heard the soft knock.

There he stood with his lopsided grin, hair tried neatly to the nape of his neck, bangs crowding his line of sight. He carried two large bags of what I guessed to be groceries. I helped him as he stepped through the door, slipping off his shoes as he did so. I kicked the door close behind me as he walked to the kitchen, already sprawling out the food items onto the bar.

"What's all this for?" I asked, stunned at the various food items. I spotted some of my favorite beef flavored instant ramen, soda, bottled water, apples, oranges, and some canned food. In my bag were cold items like milk and my favorite…

Rocky Road ice cream.

I grinned.

He knew my eating habits down to a T.

He chuckled mildly, turning to open the empty cabinets that seemingly had collected cobwebs after weeks of disuse. He turned and I just smiled, sheepishly scratching the back of my head. His eyes crinkled as he showed me that heart melting grin.

All we had been doing was smiling at one another the whole time he was here. We haven't said one word, just communicating with simple gestures. We seemed to understand each other perfectly through the simple ways of communicating. There were no words needed to be expressed. My heart jumped a bit at the thought…Was it another sign of a love meant to be?

I wish.

I wish so hard that it could be.

Maybe just maybe…



My thoughts were broken when he laid his hand on mine. It was warm.

And I quite liked it.

Okay so maybe it is true love. How am I to know? I'm scared deep inside though. What if the same thing that happened to Enishi and me happen to Kenshin and me? I wouldn't be able to live with that again. I would break down; shut myself off from the world.

But...

He squeezed my hand, reassuringly.

I smiled.

He crinkled his eyes.

That wouldn't happen.

Not with him.

-

"Hello," I answered as I untangled myself from the lightly snoring Kenshin.

We had ended up on the couch watching some horror movie. The ice cream was left forgotten on the table as we had fallen asleep, my head in the crock of his neck, his arm draped delicately on my slim shoulders. I laid there for some time, letting the lullaby of his heartbeat take me into my dreamland.

About an hour later, my phone rang. I grunted a bit, annoyed at being taken from my unusually peaceful sleep. Misao's sad voice came through the speaker so softly that I almost could not make out what she had said.

Kenshin, by then, had woken up a bit. I looked at his half-hood eyes, watching as he stretched as a cat would do. I smiled at the site, and he returned it with a small, lazy tug of his lips.

My smile faltered, and then faded, when I had registered what Misao had said.

"Nana is in the hospital."

"What happened?" I said frantically. Kenshin was wide-awake now, sitting on the edge of the couch, eyeing me curiously.

"She's sick…Real sick… Kaoru, they say…" I couldn't make out the rest; her sobs were all I heard come from the speaker.

"Come to the ER waiting room at Memorial." It was Sano now that talked. His voice had a sad tone to it that I had never heard before, "I'll explain when you get here… Get Kenshin too."



"We're on our way."

I flipped the phone shut and dropped it to the couch. Kenshin looked at me expectantly.

Understanding his demeanor, I looked at him with jaded eyes.

"It's Nana. She's in the hospital," My voice cracked. Tears threatened to fall from my eyes. I didn't want Nana to be sick in any way shape or form, but I get a call and my worse nightmare becomes a reality. By the way Misao sounded, it seemed as though Nana maybe taking her final breaths, that her time in this world was drawing to a close. I shuddered at the thought. She has done so much for me. Nana gave me a job. She helped me get back my life, to take control. I may not have realized until now how much she meant to me. I took her for granted and never told her a simple 'Thank you'. It was like I just expected it without a second thought.

I shuddered.

I hoped my conclusions were wrong.

Kenshin was the first off the couch, his bangs hooded his eyes. Surly he was more upset than me. He and Nana were too close for him not to be worried. She was like his grandmother, like his own flesh and blood. He respected her so much, and now he may lose what may be the most important person he ever had in his life.

"Kenshin?" I asked in a mouse like voice.

He took my hand, and we dashed out the door to the car.

The ride was silent as Kenshin weaved in between cars. No words were spoken; we were both too distraught.

Soon enough we stood before the doors of the ER. I gripped Kenshin's hand for dear life. There was a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach.

-

"I found her on the floor at the Pancake House," Misao explained, "I was closing for the night. I left for about thirty minutes. I told her I'd be right back but- "Her voice cracked, "I took longer than I told her. I could've saved her..." She trailed off into a fit of sobs. Aoshi's hand rubbed comforting circles on her back while her frail body wracked with sobs.

"Misao. Please, "I took her hand, "Don't you even dare blame this on yourself."

"Yeah. You didn't know that you would find her like that. It could've happened to any one of us," Sano awkwardly said. He wasn't too keen on giving comforting words to a person, but Misao was a special case; she was one of his best friends, someone who he would not want to see in pain. He would kill for her, for any one of us.



I let her go, letting Aoshi cradle the frail girl in his arms. He was not a man of many words, but he was so different with Misao. He truly cared for her as a lover. I almost smiled at the thought, but the moment would just not permit it.

A moment later I took a seat beside the drowsy Sano. It was at least two in the morning. I was tired myself, but I would stay awake until I knew Nana would be ok….or not. I shuddered. Sano noticed and pulled me close.

We said nothing, both of us staring at the white washed walls of the waiting room. My eyes wandered to the other people who waited for news of their loved ones, and then to others who waited nervously. It almost dead silent and then suddenly the silence would melt a way with a shriek of happiness or a sob of despair. The hospital was a truly unforgiving place. It brought and took lives. It could hold miracles or just bring despair.

What disturbed me the most was the pacing Kenshin. It broke my heart to see him so upset. I pulled away from Sano and walked over to him. He stopped for a moment, looking at me. I saw the most pitiful look on his face. It broke my heart to see him so upset. I pulled away from Sano and walked over to him. He stopped for a moment, looking at me. I saw the most pitiful look on his face.

Suddenly, I found myself in a bone crushing hug. After a moment, I felt him loosen his grip just enough to let my arms snake around him. Moments later, I felt his shoulders shaking. He was crying.

Kenshin was silently crying…

To me.

-

At 5:00 a.m. the doctor stood before us, his face told a glum tale. He stood there shuffling his feet. He seemed almost afraid to tell us. I braced myself for the worse.

"We performed an emergency surgery to her heart. It was going well at first, but then at one point in the surgery her vitals went haywire. Then there was silence. For a moment everything returned to normal…Then slowly," He stopped, when he looked at our sad faces. He seemed to almost want to cry with us. At one point I heard Sano telling Aoshi that the doctor operating on Nana had known her personally. My heart went out to him.

"Well," Kenshin quietly urged. It pained me to look at him in the most pitiful of states. His head drooped down, shoulders baring limp arms, hands hanging, limp, between his legs.

"She passed at 4:30 a.m. February 23, 2008," Came his silent voice. Misao wailed. Aoshi looked to the floor, hanging on to Misao. Sano turned rigid.

Kenshin stood and walked away.

-

I tried to follow, but I felt a cold hand on my wrist. I turned, anger flaring my senses. Sano shook his head sadly, his grip coming loose.

I understood and...

My heart broke.

-

Three days later we stood at the freshly dug grave, the funeral over, and blessings said.

Everyone had stopped working ever since that night at the hospital. Aoshi and Misao spent every moment together. Sano appeared at my doorstep every evening with a fresh set of minor injuries he would like me to repair. Sano had been out for hours picking fights with drunken strangers. I guess it was his way of mourning. I sat alone in my apartment, staring blankly at the now meaning images on the T.V., wishing for my phone to ring, hoping to hear Kenshin's smooth voice.

But he never called.

He never answered my calls.

I missed him.

-

Aoshi took Misao into his arms and let her cry until she couldn't any more. Sano bitterly kicked the ground with his hands drove deep in his pockets, eyes looking any where but the grave. I stood beside the ever silent Kenshin. His arms hung loosely at his sides, shoulders sagged, face hidden from all underneath those bangs. I suddenly realized why he kept his hair so long. It was his shield from the hurtful world, a way for him to cry without anyone seeing.

They were a way for him to mask his true feelings.

A gentle spring breeze caressed us. It whirled Kenshin's hair around him revealing his tear stained eyes. It was almost as if Nana was trying to wipe them away. I smiled at the thought. Even after her demise she still cares.

I went to grab his limp hand, but he pulled it away before I could reach it. I looked at him with questioning eyes. He peered to me, showing his stormy amethyst eyes. After just moments he averted his gaze.

"Kenshin?" I whispered.

"I'm sorry," Came his voice. With that He turned, walking from the scene.

And at that moment my heart went with him. As I watched his retreating form, I realized something.

I was in love.

-

Truly…

Madly…

Deeply…

In love…with none other than…

Kenshin Himura.

And I didn't know how to say it, so I didn't. I just let him walk away..

With my heart.

* * *

**Omg I finally got that done...and all in one night. Go me. I was in a rather sullen mood so this was the way the chapter turned out. But I enjoyed writing it. It's my longest I've wrote in a while. So I'm proud. Later on I'm going to go through the story and revise it to make things not seemed so rushed between Kenshin and Kaoru. So look out for notes in earlier chapters...Anyways Insprie me ...Hit that button plz.!XD**


	11. Perfect

**I Fall Every Time**

**Chapter 9**

* * *

"Kenshin please open up," I asked softly to the door in front of me. My hand knocked softly on the polished wood.

It's been three weeks since I last saw him, saw his smile, and bright eyes. We all mourned over Nana. We all missed her.

But for him it was something so much more. He lost someone else who he loved like no other.

To Kenshin Nana was his healer. She nursed him from his terrible time after Tomoe's death. She had told me it was the worse thing to see a boy she saw as her son, going around so depressed. My hands fisted.

I just hope I can help heal him now.

It would take time, but I knew I could. We could mourn for Nana together and not alone. And together we could find happiness in this dark time.

"Kenshin?" I coaxed in a pleading voice.

The handle finally twisted. My eyes widened slight as the door cracked open still connected to the metal chain, his face peaking through the opening. His hair hung around in shoulders in disarray, eyes swollen with tears, bags under them from probably lack of sleep.

"Can I come in?" I asked in half whisper. I think he nodded, my heart dropping when she shut the door. Then it opened wide, Kenshin standing to the side. For a second I thought he was just going to drive me away. "How are you?" I asked softly, while taking off my shoes on the matt.

His apartment was a mirror of mine, only it was dark and the furniture was much simpler. The walls were a cream, looking darker from the shadows the crossed over them form the sun trying to come through the shut blinds.

He's been living in the dark…

Kenshin walked to me, putting a gentle touch on my shoulders almost reluctantly. My heart soared. I've been craving his touch for weeks. But as soon as I began to revel in the warm sensation his hand was gone and he was moving to sit on his couch. I followed in suit, sitting at a generous distance from him.

"Kenshin?" I asked, peering at him with pleading eyes. Please talk to me. Please.

"Kaoru," His raspy voice replied. The noise came out almost at a croak. Scooting closer, I took his hand in mine, feeling the tears sting at my eyes. "Kaoru…" He trailed, staring intently as I tried to interlace my fingers with his. I smiled the best smile could muster.

"Are you alright?" Nothing came but silence. Then, he just pulled his hand from mine, standing from his perch on the couch. My heart broke. He's distancing himself, and I don't like it.

"I've lost…" He trailed off, and I could notice the small shake of his shoulders as he stood there in front of his wooden entertainment system.

"What is it?" I inquired, watching as he tried to get a grip over himself. My heart was ripped from my chest. Please don't say everything…

Please don't do that to me Kenshin. Please don't break my heart.

"I've lost all those dear to me," He replied bitterly, shoulders slumping. Was I not dear to him? Was I not the person who could help him in healing his blackened heart? He sure was that person for me. A tear broke out of the tight confines that I tried to trap it in. It was just one that slowly fell down my face. After reaching my jaw line, I felt it drop onto my hand

"You have not," I stated, "No, Kenshin you have not."

You have me. The person that loves you.

"Tomoe…Nana… So many others," He replied, turning to me, "You just don't understand, Kaoru."

I was taken aback. Does he not know how much I've been through in my 21 years of life? No, because I never told him. Still, he did not have to say that. My eyes narrowed in anger, hands balling into fists, tears coming down my face in a small cascade of drops.

"You don't know what you're saying to me Kenshin?" I snapped. It was the first time I had ever gotten angry at him in the two months that I'd known him. "You don't know at all," I said again, biting back a sob that threatened to come back.

"What don't I know Kaoru?" He snapped back, bitterness lacing his voice. I winced. He has never spoken to me in such a way. "You don't know what it's like to loose a lover. You don't know what it's like to loose the only person who understood the pain you gone through. You just don't know."

"What makes you say that?! You don't know what I've been through. You don't know anything about me Kenshin. I think out of anyone I would know what it's like to loose someone precious to me, someone that I love. How can you say that to my face when you hardly know the hardships I've gone through," I choked back a sob, "Don't you dare say that to me. Ever. Again." At that point I was right in front of him, jabbing my index finger in his chest. He looked at me with narrowed lavender eyes.

"Then why don't you tell me?" He asked in a throaty and angry voice. I peered as his hand flexed at his sides.

"Why should I?!" I yelled, myself flinching at my words. Kenshin remained motionless.

"Because it's not the same," He whispered. I brought my hand back then. Then, I felt the sting of flesh, as I slapped across his cheek.

"You don't know!" I shouted. His hand slowly went to his red cheek, lavender eyes staring at me incredulously. It was then I had realized just what I had done. My head hung, "Oh, Kenshin…I'm so sorry."

His strong hands, gripped my shoulders, as I was about to turn to leave. His gaze caught me like a moth to the flame. My whole body trembled, as did his. Azure gazed into Amethyst.

Then, his hands were sliding up my neck, then to my jaw line, and then went to cradle my head in a firm hold.

"Just let me leave. I shouldn't-" His mouth crashed into mine. Lips connecting before I had time to even react. They moved to an unheard rhythm, tugging and pulling. My body melted against him, a trapped whimper of passion coursed through my windpipe. My hands tangled in his already messy hair, his gripping my face, bringing me as close to him as I could get. A sweet eternity later he pulled back breathing hard, using his thumbs to wipe the wetness from my puffy cheeks.

"I love you, Kenshin," I breathed. He nodded, slowly comprehending my words. His eyes were darkened by something I had not seen in such a long time.

"I love you, too," He replied, melting slowly, when this time, it was me who crashed my lips to his. Somehow we managed to make our way back to the couch. And from that moment I knew just how he felt about me.

He loved me as much as I loved him.

-

It's sometimes funny the way things turn out. Five months after that fateful day I found myself in Central Park, admiring New York in all its splendid glory. The sun shone through the lazily floating clouds. Children played tag, while grown ups walked their dogs. The dribbling of basketball was heard, and the faint sounds of cheers from a baseball game reached my ears.

Kenshin was before me on one knee, professing his undying love, and I reveled in it. Never before had someone cared about me so deeply. He was my world, and now I was sure we were going to spend forever together. I gleefully jumped into his arms, kissing him a million fold. People around us cheered in soft congratulations.

When I told Misao she practically had me choking in a bear hug. Aoshi gave his congratulations with a kiss on the cheek. Sano threatened Kenshin not to hurt me or he would be sorry. And that night we celebrated with drinks on Sano, but it was really Kenshin who had paid for the three rounds we had. Of course the plump Misao would have none. She just settled on sparkly water.

Another month flew by, and a perfectly filled out Misao and I had gone dress shopping. Her belly was getting bigger every day. Only two more months and she would be a proud new mother. It was that day she had decided to tell me about what had happened when she informed Aoshi about their little miracle. He said that it went perfect. Aoshi was thrilled that he was going to be a father. She said the next day he went out and bought her the biggest diamond he could find, and she wore it proudly, letting me ogle it. Then, she shocked me when she said that they took her mom and went to Vegas to tie the knot.

I had been wondering where she had been for the past few weeks. After the wedding they honeymooned in Mexico. It was so romantic, and I was so thrilled for her, not all disappointed that I wasn't at her wedding. Misao wasn't traditional at all, and she had said the wedding was at one of those new popular drive-through services. It seemed to fit her perfectly. Of course she did have a reception for her friends and family, and I was there for that.

I found the perfect wedding dress that was the most beautiful garment my eyes had ever fallen on. It was strapless and it puffed out at the bottom. And when I wore it and month later, I felt just like a princess.

In that time Megumi and I had settled our differences. She said she would be going back to Japan to live there and study medicine and Tokyo University. I was happy for her. She apologized about what she had done, telling me she was only jealous that I had gotten Kenshin. I understood, even inviting her to be one of my bride's maids. She filled the yellow dress out perfectly with her tall, shapely form.

The wedding was held in a beautiful ballroom at one of New York's finest hotels. Kenshin had surprised me with it. Everything was covered in white rose petals. Sano walked me down the aisle, and Misao had given my toast at the reception.

When Kenshin and I danced, I tripped a bit, but he just twirled me with such grace. I followed his lead, and we ended the night with a small dance party at the Pancake House. A picture of Nana had been put on the wall, and it would always be there to help me and Kenshin through every hardship. Nana was like our guardian angel.

And so time flew again, and we were at the emergency room, watching Misao curl her toes in pain, wailing and screaming curse words at everyone. When it was all said and done Aoshi was breathless when he finally heard the first heard the cry of his new baby girl. Misao cried with joy when the nurse put the little miracle in her arms.

"You're name will be …Chou," she breathed. Aoshi nodded with approval.

It was a beautiful site. The proud new parents had given Kenshin and me the name of god parents.

A week later I had received news from Misao that she had found out that Enishi had been jail for fraud. I laughed bitterly. Kenshin said nothing. And later that day we had made our way with flowers and other things, to the cemetery. Kenshin placed an arrangement on Nana's grave, smiling sadly. I gripped his hand, while saying a small prayer. Then he crouched at Tomoe's grave with me standing behind him, smiling soft. A soft breeze blew as orange from the setting sun covered over the grassy knoll. The leaves of autumn blew gracefully to the ground.

"I love you," He whispered, looking back to me with a sad smile. I nodded, encouraging him to go on with what he had to say to Tomoe.

"And I forgive you. Know that there will always be a place for you in my heart. I'll never forget what you showed me. And somehow you're death brought me a new happiness. I'll always be in you're debt."

He kissed the tip of his index finger and touched it to the polished granite.

And when New Year's came, Kenshin and I sat in front of the television with a tub of rocky road ice cream and a handful of confetti, ready to ring the New Year, my hand cradling my blooming stomach.

And when the clock tolled midnight, he kissed me.

"I wonder what this New Year will bring," He whispered in my ear.

* * *

**FIN!**

* * *

**...takes a deep breath.... YAAAAYYYYY. My first ever completed story. I made this the last chapter because I had no idea what to do next. Heh. I hope it's a suitable ending. I'm proud of myself for finishing it though, and this last one was really fun to write. Well I hope all of you enjoyed the long awaited read. Tell me what you think. Thank for all of your support, and for being so patient with me. I got kind of lazy with this story. For that I'm sorry.**

**Thanks for choosing to stick with me and. Until next time!!!!**


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